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 Post subject: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:34 pm 
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The French government is buying 129 Viking all-terrain amphibious armoured vehicles from BAE systems, for a mere £220 million, including a servicing contract.

View full article here

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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:45 pm 

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NEW ARMY UNIFORMS TO CAMOUFLAGE LACK OF BASIC EQUIPMENT Print E-mail
22-12-09

BRITISH troops in Afghanistan are to be issued with new uniforms that can disguise the fact they are armed with nothing but rusty tin-openers.

Image
Vroom-vroom! Honk!
The multi-purpose outfits feature pictures of a rifle and several hand-grenades designed to fool Al Qaeda troops into thinking allied troops have got real weapons that work.

Brigadier Denys Finch-Hatton said: "We're going to use the same method to make big boulders look like fully-functioning armoured personnel carriers.

"And we've also draped a large section of the material over our battle plans to hopefully disguise the fact we haven't the faintest idea what we're doing here."

The new pattern was developed to help troops blend in to the scenery, but Brigadier Finch-Hatton added: "There's only so much blending in you can do when you're white, speak English, have all your own teeth and aren't trying to stone women to death for having ankles."

Private Charlie Reeves said: "The rifle motif will allow us to shout 'bang' with greater conviction so that Johnny Taliban gets all frightened and runs away. I'm very happy."

Army chiefs are also exploring the potential of hi-tech 'scent warfare', where bombs smelling of Western decadence will be detonated over Helmand to fool the enemy into thinking Allied troops have won the war while they weren't looking.

Ministry of Defence sources say the bombs will be armed with the stench of alcohol vomit, Findus Crispy Pancakes and Katie Price laced with essence of Heat magazine.
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/ ... 912222331/

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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:54 pm 

Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:59 pm
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After 8 years in Afghanistan the British Army gets a better camouflage and they have decided to do more air drops. Why has it taken so long?

Anyway...

There is nothing wrong with the French buying Vikings so long as they don't intend to drive through IED strewn landscapes with them. They might just decided to deploy them sensibly. But we have here a deal where the French Government buys kit from a British firm - I wonder what Britain has promised France in return.(It is a pity it's not likely to be to buy Eurocopter Panthers so they can dump the Future Lynx.)


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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:09 pm 

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I agree with gareth, if they use them in Afghanistan then they are just as loopy as our lot, however I think that France brought them for their Mistral class amphibious assault ships. I will keep an eye out on this for you.


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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:41 pm 
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Daffersd wrote:
I agree with gareth, if they use them in Afghanistan then they are just as loopy as our lot, however I think that France brought them for their Mistral class amphibious assault ships. I will keep an eye out on this for you.


That would make sense. As long as they don't sail it up the Helmand, they should be alright.

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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:02 pm 
RAENORTH wrote:
Daffersd wrote:
I agree with gareth, if they use them in Afghanistan then they are just as loopy as our lot, however I think that France brought them for their Mistral class amphibious assault ships. I will keep an eye out on this for you.


That would make sense. As long as they don't sail it up the Helmand, they should be alright.

But what at about up the chunnel?

But they don't even have to risk that. The firm could arrange for them to be picked up at the chunnel head in Dover. Then bony's boys could make an easy dash and take London before you can say string of onions while our lads are getting it up the arse from the brass and taliwogs in afghanistan.


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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:39 pm 

Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 3:09 pm
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JA, you made me laugh out loud again...

Dr North, I did a search with my wife who being French has far superior French to me, we could not locate anything at this point about it in the French websites, perhaps they are keeping it quiet as they did not buy French... We will keep our eyes open.


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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:48 pm 
Maybe it's just a carrot to keep us signed up for A400m?


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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 9:43 am 
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Billykwiz_ wrote:
Maybe it's just a carrot to keep us signed up for A400m?


Yep, an order for Swedish-built vehicles should keep the UK on-board the A400M project. :)

-- Iain


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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 10:50 am 
elchig wrote:
Billykwiz_ wrote:
Maybe it's just a carrot to keep us signed up for A400m?


Yep, an order for Swedish-built vehicles should keep the UK on-board the A400M project. :)

-- Iain



You and I both know that (although I believe much of the manufacturing process is carried out by UK firms) but I doubt if our politicians do. They'll just take the view that those nice Frenchies have bought British.


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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:02 pm 

Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 3:09 pm
Posts: 429
I found this report:

http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htarm/ ... 91228.aspx

And then this in French

http://www.lepoint.fr/actualites-monde/ ... 8/0/271682

So Dr North it looks like you were right, the French military procurement is even more incompetent than the MOD, because the British are withdrawing them from Afghanistan so you would think that they would wonder about that, but they are buying them to solve the issue of dismounting earlier than they want to in mountain terrain which they blame for the death of their soldiers in that infamous ambush.

You could not make this up, wow!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:41 pm 

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Why don't we sell the French the ones we've got left, after they're already in theatre. PDT_Armataz_01_26

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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:25 pm 
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SandyRham wrote:
Why don't we sell the French the ones we've got left, after they're already in theatre. PDT_Armataz_01_26


We've got some Snatch Land Rovers as well ... I'm sure they would love them ... or ... psssst ... wanna buy a used Pinzgauer?

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 Post subject: Re: This is a joke, right?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:45 pm 
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All, note this is the Mk2 version which alledgedly has been modified and uparmoured in the light of the experience in Iraq/Afghanistan. Now how much of an improvement this is will remain to be seen. It is worth noting that it is a very capable vehicle and if used correctly and appropriate mine/IED/route clearance procedures are taken, then its is not necessarily a bad purchase.


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